birthday wish list
1.) a set of small weights, maybe 5 or 8 pounds- i want to start pumping iron, but i also want to be realistic about my goals. i'll be 25 this year, and i figure that if i do just enough sets each day (is that what they call them, those buff beefy people? "sets"?) then i'll be able to kick your ass when you get me another crappy gift at 26.
note: if you just get me a bottle of iron supplements, just to be ironic (no pun intended), then i'll just cut to the chase and kick your ass right now.
2.) a collection of modern polish poetry- don't get me no shit from the 17th century. also, don't write any yourself poetry and think that will suffice.
3.) a fancy new expensive microscope- that way, i won't have to sneak baggies full of semen and fingernails into the biology lab at school anymore. i can pursue my academic endeavors, right here in the comfort of my own home.
4.) just a little bit of respect for once.
5.) some new bras- cupping your hands under my boobs and giving me a wry smile doesn't count.
6.) a night at the roxbury- not the movie, please. just a night out on the town to this place, wherever it is. i'm not even sure it really exists, but i like the ring of it.
7.) a lime colored color pencil- just one pencil. lime-colored please.
8.) oh, and maybe a salmon colored one, and a pink one too.
9.) also, a kelly green one would be nice.
that's all. frankly, i don't think it's too much to ask, when you consider all that i've done for you these past 25 years.
seriously.
note: if you just get me a bottle of iron supplements, just to be ironic (no pun intended), then i'll just cut to the chase and kick your ass right now.
2.) a collection of modern polish poetry- don't get me no shit from the 17th century. also, don't write any yourself poetry and think that will suffice.
3.) a fancy new expensive microscope- that way, i won't have to sneak baggies full of semen and fingernails into the biology lab at school anymore. i can pursue my academic endeavors, right here in the comfort of my own home.
4.) just a little bit of respect for once.
5.) some new bras- cupping your hands under my boobs and giving me a wry smile doesn't count.
6.) a night at the roxbury- not the movie, please. just a night out on the town to this place, wherever it is. i'm not even sure it really exists, but i like the ring of it.
7.) a lime colored color pencil- just one pencil. lime-colored please.
8.) oh, and maybe a salmon colored one, and a pink one too.
9.) also, a kelly green one would be nice.
that's all. frankly, i don't think it's too much to ask, when you consider all that i've done for you these past 25 years.
seriously.
posted by zipper @ 1:09 AM
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