creepy paperclip, anyone?

i was just typing my astronomy homework (that's right- i'm gonna be a rocket scientist!) on a program known as microsoft word- maybe you're familiar with it? regardless, at some point in time the makers of this aforementioned program thought it would be a good idea to add a helpful little cartoon graphic. this helpful little cartoon graphic (from here on out i will simply refer to him as "asshole") can take one of several forms: a little orange cat, a bare-foot Einstein looking fellow, and a paperclip. you might be familiar with these little assholes. the reason i call them assholes is because that's what they are. frankly, i don't need a damn paperclip watching me while i complete such tedious tasks as my astronomy homework. no thank you. regardless, i'm kind of "stupid" and i can't figure out how to make the damn thing go away, or at least change it to Einstein mode, which is at least a little more bearable and in fact, kinda cute (although why he's barefoot is completely beyond me). anyway, here's the creepy part. as i was typing, i noticed that the paperclip would have these bouts of silence- that is, moments when he was just sitting in the corner of the screen, minding his own. fine by me. but it seemed that every time i punctuated, this little fucker (asshole) would actually peer over to the words and raise his freaking eyebrows! at first, i thought i was cuckoo and imagining the whole thing. but i did an experiment and just started typing out punctuation marks. people, i'm telling you the truth here. this little fucking asshole paperclip was questioning my ability to punctuate. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE? is nobody else bothered by these kinds of things? does nobody else notice when there's a fucking paperclip reading over your shoulder?
and here's the real kicker. when you're done with the program and go to leave, the paperclip transforms into a friggin' bicycle, waves at you, and rides away! how the hell does this kind of shit slip through the cracks? why isn't anybody doing anything?!!