the cold, hard facts
well, friends, the truth is finally out. i'm warning you now, if you are sensitive at all-- if you cry at movies or get weepy and shit when puppies chase chickens-- i suggest you stop right here. this is not for the weak of heart. or the weak of mind, so if you're stupid, just move right along. stupid.
as some of you may know, i have recently had a change in roommates. (that's not altogether accurate, but a blog about why i have not been blogging could be pretty boring... or would it?) anywho, my new roomie, who will go un-named, does extensive work in the pr industry. now, for those of you not familiar with this elite and elusive world, 'pr' stands for 'public relations'. that means my roommate goes out and relates to the public. i'm not 100% sure of what that entails exactly, but i have a feeling it involves a lot of nodding in other people's direction and saying things like "hey, how ya doin'?" and "nice weather we got today, huh?" anyway, this kind of work is by no means easy, but the perks are many: lots of free shit, including (no joke) beer, trash bags, do-it-yourself sex manuals, coffee mugs... the list goes on and on. along with a bunch of useless crap you could buy on your own, if you are on the inside track of this 'pr' world, you also get to rub elbows with some pretty fancy, famous people. and when i say fancy and famous, i mean high-maintenance and creepy. and, as any idiot knows (hey idiots! i told you to get outta here!), when you are in with the rich and famous, you are in with their secrets. i know this may sound titillating, but my world was recently shattered. yes, shattered, my friends. and i neither exaggerate or lie. (just ask my husband, the incredible hulk.) so here it is, friends. i bring to you the life-altering truth. the truth that will snap you out of your ignorant bliss and make you think twice about your naive world view. the truth that has you going "whoa, wa, whoooaaa", and then slipping on invisible pudding and falling on your bottom.
be ye warned. there's no turning back...
benlo... was totally fake. totally, totally fake. just a cheap trick by the industry to boost ben and jen's popularity and put publicity out for their upcoming film, gigli. a cheap, heartbreaking, fucked up trick... but true.
i'm so sorry to have to be the one to break this to you, like this, in this manner. i couldn't hold it in any longer, and i thought you should know. cause that's my job-- it's my job to be real with you. that's what friends do. friends are real and they tell the truth, no matter what. you hear that? friends are real! they don't smash their names together and fake an entire romance, complete with fake wedding plans and all! friends don't lie!
(oh benlo, you broke my heart.)
as some of you may know, i have recently had a change in roommates. (that's not altogether accurate, but a blog about why i have not been blogging could be pretty boring... or would it?) anywho, my new roomie, who will go un-named, does extensive work in the pr industry. now, for those of you not familiar with this elite and elusive world, 'pr' stands for 'public relations'. that means my roommate goes out and relates to the public. i'm not 100% sure of what that entails exactly, but i have a feeling it involves a lot of nodding in other people's direction and saying things like "hey, how ya doin'?" and "nice weather we got today, huh?" anyway, this kind of work is by no means easy, but the perks are many: lots of free shit, including (no joke) beer, trash bags, do-it-yourself sex manuals, coffee mugs... the list goes on and on. along with a bunch of useless crap you could buy on your own, if you are on the inside track of this 'pr' world, you also get to rub elbows with some pretty fancy, famous people. and when i say fancy and famous, i mean high-maintenance and creepy. and, as any idiot knows (hey idiots! i told you to get outta here!), when you are in with the rich and famous, you are in with their secrets. i know this may sound titillating, but my world was recently shattered. yes, shattered, my friends. and i neither exaggerate or lie. (just ask my husband, the incredible hulk.) so here it is, friends. i bring to you the life-altering truth. the truth that will snap you out of your ignorant bliss and make you think twice about your naive world view. the truth that has you going "whoa, wa, whoooaaa", and then slipping on invisible pudding and falling on your bottom.
be ye warned. there's no turning back...
benlo... was totally fake. totally, totally fake. just a cheap trick by the industry to boost ben and jen's popularity and put publicity out for their upcoming film, gigli. a cheap, heartbreaking, fucked up trick... but true.
i'm so sorry to have to be the one to break this to you, like this, in this manner. i couldn't hold it in any longer, and i thought you should know. cause that's my job-- it's my job to be real with you. that's what friends do. friends are real and they tell the truth, no matter what. you hear that? friends are real! they don't smash their names together and fake an entire romance, complete with fake wedding plans and all! friends don't lie!
(oh benlo, you broke my heart.)
posted by zipper @ 11:27 PM
1 comments
