i ain't juicy fruit's bitch*
all right. i don't "blog" very often, as anyone can see if they peruse my blog. generally, i have much more important, rock star/rocket scientist things to do-- i.e. snorting coke off Mick Jagger's ass and testing the quinine levels of moon rocks and shit. however, tonight i was feeling curious (cut to me examining my boogers), and i decided to check in the ol' everybodyintheirunderwear, see if anybody had logged in. (it's part of this whole new vanity the-world-revolves-around-me bit i'm working on. i'll let you know how it goes.) anywho, some "dude" had responded to my last posting, saying that he found my blog to be "inquisitive." what the fuck. offensive? yes. full of bravado? maybe. inquisitive? my ass.
anywho, so i decided to go ahead and check out this guy's blog. supposedly, he's a park ranger who loves juicy fruit. i say supposedly because he writes, briefly and rather mildly, about his job, his passion for taking care of "his little corner of the earth." he also sends out a rather bland, politically correct merry christmas, "to those of you who celebrate." and then he goes on to say something about his girlfriend, soon to be his fiancee-- and then he actually writes "shhh!! it's a secret!" who the fuck are you kidding, bub? way to keep it on the d.l. that you are about to propose... 'hmm. i'll just subtly post it on my blog. she'll never find out."
anyways, alongside these personality-less postings, you can follow a link to the juicy fruit web site or read this guy's profile, where he pretty much doesn't say anything about himself other than the fact that he's a park ranger and that he LOVES JUICY FRUIT!! gimme a break. am i supposed to believe, even for one little second, that this is an actual person? seriously-- we all know that advertisers are prowling the blog sites, playing it all cool like "hey man! interesting blog! come check out my blog on fucking pet fashions and shit" (no joke: this is a real advertisement that i have seen on blogs). if juicy fruit thinks for one goddamn minute that i actually believe this guy exists, they've got another thing coming to them. here's an inquisitive thought: fuck off, juicy fruit. and keep your goddamn corporate advertising off MY fucking blog space. ya hear?!
*brought to you by Red Stripe Jamaican Lager: Keepin' Zulema Randy Since 1983.
anywho, so i decided to go ahead and check out this guy's blog. supposedly, he's a park ranger who loves juicy fruit. i say supposedly because he writes, briefly and rather mildly, about his job, his passion for taking care of "his little corner of the earth." he also sends out a rather bland, politically correct merry christmas, "to those of you who celebrate." and then he goes on to say something about his girlfriend, soon to be his fiancee-- and then he actually writes "shhh!! it's a secret!" who the fuck are you kidding, bub? way to keep it on the d.l. that you are about to propose... 'hmm. i'll just subtly post it on my blog. she'll never find out."
anyways, alongside these personality-less postings, you can follow a link to the juicy fruit web site or read this guy's profile, where he pretty much doesn't say anything about himself other than the fact that he's a park ranger and that he LOVES JUICY FRUIT!! gimme a break. am i supposed to believe, even for one little second, that this is an actual person? seriously-- we all know that advertisers are prowling the blog sites, playing it all cool like "hey man! interesting blog! come check out my blog on fucking pet fashions and shit" (no joke: this is a real advertisement that i have seen on blogs). if juicy fruit thinks for one goddamn minute that i actually believe this guy exists, they've got another thing coming to them. here's an inquisitive thought: fuck off, juicy fruit. and keep your goddamn corporate advertising off MY fucking blog space. ya hear?!
*brought to you by Red Stripe Jamaican Lager: Keepin' Zulema Randy Since 1983.
posted by zipper @ 12:20 AM
1 comments
